I know it's been a moment since I have written. I just can't it seems. Thank you Juliet for caring, sometimes thinking about that gives me the strength to keep moving. I haven't written becuase I don't know what to write. Sometimes I sit and i don't know where to begin. I feel like if i begin to let this monster out it will all fall apart this carefully constructed facade I am currently using to get through my days. I have put up an inpenetrable shield.. for now. I have a job now, it's part time. I work in a bank. Some days are harder than others but I think it's good for me in the long run. It forces me to fight to be seen instead of hiding. It is actually time for me to go to work now but I promise my next days off I will check in and catch up. Im not going to lie though. Im scared, I wake up frustrated every morning with a nameless fear that I am afraid to look at too closely for fear It will be too much. I will try though. As long as I know someone out there who cares, I will use that to help give me the courage to try.
(hugs)
Trina
